How do you know you’re old?

December 29, 2018

We’ve all read those jokes, mostly written by young people, and usually downright mean. See what you think of these. They’ve been vetted by a group of wise seniors (my pals and I).

You know you’re old when

  • No one asks you for ID to prove you’re old enough for the senior discount
  • Salespeople at the hardware store come up to you unbidden and ask you if you need help
  • Middle-aged people offer you a seat on the subway
  • Grocery store cashiers spread out the heavy items among all your bags, so no bag will be too heavy for your old bones
  • You don’t have a smartphone because you don't see the need and don’t want the distraction
  • Sales staff and receptionists paste on a benevolent smile and talk to you loudly and slowly
  • People stop asking you for directions
  • You still cook from scratch and don’t think it’s any big deal
  • Waiters stand there watching to see if you can figure out the pay-at-the-table credit card reader
  • You’re glad to have a whole day at home

Comments

Eliz

Sun, 2019-01-13 13:51

Comment: 
Got this about ten years ago ... Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70! (or more!!!) 01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 03. No one expects you to run--anywhere. 04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you? 05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 07. Things you buy now won't wear out. 08. You can eat supper at 4 pm. 09. You can live without sex but not your glasses. 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans. 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room. 13. You sing along with elevator music. 14. Your eyes won't get much worse. 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 19. You can't remember who sent you this list. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.