The organ recital

When we were teenagers it was acne. In middle age it was menopause. Now in middle old age, it’s everything at once, some of it pretty serious. It’s life-changing and scary, so when we get together with friends, it kind of takes over the conversation. Some of us find it helpful, while others can’t stand it. Here are a few random thoughts on dealing with the organ recital.

Most young people, including our kids, don’t want to hear about our health issues. They hate the idea of getting old and don’t want the gory details. Would we really like to fall into the stereotype of the senior always whining about aches and pains? So I think it’s better to reserve those conversations for our peers. We get it.

That said, everybody has a different set of aches and pains. Don’t assume that what’s happening to your friend is the same thing that’s happening to you. Unless you’re a doctor, don’t give out health advice. If your friend really wants health advice, direct her to some trusted sites. If you think she could only handle one information source, send her to the Mayo Clinic. If you think she might like to have a variety of sources, send her to MedlinePlus. If you think she wants to see original research, send her to PubMed.

How do we manage our lives with all these health issues? I think we have to take two paths at the same time. We keep living our lives as best we can, inventing modifications as we need them. And we have to make contingency plans for the time when the modifications aren’t enough. If there are going to be tough days ahead, it would be a shame to spoil the time we do have fretting about it. Our time is too precious for that now. If we’re scared and it helps to share, then of course do it. But then move the conversation forward to the other parts of our lives, and all the other things we care about.